Pain of Loss
by SessKag Love
Summary: Draco reflects on his losses five years after the war.


**The Pain of Loss -** _Dramione Oneshot_

On New Years Eve, somewhere in Diagon Alley, down one of the shadier side roads, in an old pub sat a young man downing his 8th glass of Firewhiskey that night. No one ever questioned his presence there, as they would have five years ago. No one ever gave him odd looks, for he could be found in that pub on that night every year, drinking away his pains from the war.

'_the war….'_

The man mentally cursed the stupidity and prejudices that had plagued his entire life, as tears spilled out of his grey eyes and into his glass. Five years ago, said eyes were a swirling mass of molten silver confusion, with a glimmer of something that resembled hope. But now….now they were dull, sunken in, and lifeless; as if those eyes had never seen a happy day. His hair, which was an unmistakable platinum blonde that got him recognized wherever he went, was unkempt, and in desperate need of a trim. There were several times when he was almost mistaken for his father, which made sense, except for the fact that his father, Lucius Malfoy, was dead; killed after destroying the last bit of happiness in his son's life.

Raising his glass, Draco signaled to the bartender for a refill, which came quickly. As he raised the glass to his lips, his eyes flicked up to the mirror that hung directly in from of him, behind the bar. His reflection stared back at him, looking more like an animated corpse that a living person. _'I might as well be dead' _he thought bitterly, as he drained his glass. And that's when he heard it.

"Draco…."

Draco choked on his Firewhiskey. As the bartender eyed him curiously, his eyes anxiously flew around the bar, searching for the person whom that voice belonged. _'I must be crazy. For a moment, I thought I heard __**her **__voice….'_ Not finding the source, Draco heaved a mournful sigh, and turned back to the bartender who refilled his glass once again. Taking a deep swig, Draco looked towards the mirror once again…..

….and spat out his drink.

Wheeling around, Draco looked towards the door. What he saw there brought fresh tears to his eyes.

Standing just inside the door stood a woman with chestnut coloured hair, cascading in messy, slightly frizzy curls down her back. Her hands were cradling her stomach, which was swollen with the prospect of a new life, and she was smiling at Draco. She was dressed in a black, floor-length skirt which accentuated her curvaceous hips and rear, and a dark green long-sleeved turtleneck sweater. When Draco looked into her deep chocolate eyes, he felt a pang of grief and pain shoot through his heart.

'_Hermione..'_

Hermione smiled at him. Draco, thinking that the alcohol was impairing his vision, rubbed at his eyes. When he looked back up, he realized that Hermione had an ethereal look to her, as if she wasn't really there. Without looking away from her, Draco dropped a Galleon onto the bar, and started towards her.

"Hermione…."

"Shhh, my Love. All will be right soon…."

And then Draco's vision started to blur, as he fell forward, out cold.

-xXx-

_Draco was just coming home from a long day at the bank. Two house elves scurried up to him and wordlessly took his jacket and brief case to deliver them to his study. He was about to follow the house elves up the stairs to greet his wife, when an unearthly sound ripped through the entire manor._

"_**DRACO!"**_

_The soul-shattering scream of his wife froze him in his tracks. As he ran through the manor in the direction from where she called for him, he came upon a sight that made his blood run cold._

_His father, the bastard that he was, was standing in their master bedroom, with a __**very **__pregnant Hermione held by her throat in his grasp. _

"_**NO! HERMIONE!"**_

"_You see here, Draco," Lucius sneered at him, "I am going to show your little mudblood whore here what happens when you go against my wishes, and lucky you, you get front row seats."_

_Lucius threw Hermione from him down onto the floor. Catching herself, Hermione looked up and saw Lucius point his wand at her. _

"_**AVADA KEDAVRA!"**_

_The last thing she saw was a flash of bright green, as she screamed her husband's name for the last time._

"_**HERMIONE!"**_

_Wrought with anguish, Draco shot a spell at Lucius, which sent his father flying across the spacious bedroom,and crashing into the rarely used vanity table, impaling himself on a piece of broken glass from the shattered mirror._

_Draco ran over to his wife and picking up her limp form, sat her in his lap and began rocking her, as he began sobbing, resting his other hand overtop of hers on her stomach._

_When the Aurors arrived via the house elves, that was how they found Draco._

_-_xXx-

Draco awoke with a start, and the first thing he comprehended was pain.

"'Ere you go. Drink this 'ere potion; yer 'angover will go away in a 'mo," came a low voice. Draco felt a vial being placed in his hand, and he raised it to his lips and downed it in one sip. Feeling the effects of the potion take hold, Draco took the opportunity to get his bearings.

He was in the back room of the pub, lying on a couch, looking at the face of the pub owner sitting in front of him. Gingerly, he sat up, as memories of the night before flooded into his brain. His heart fell, and he could feel a fresh wave of tears spilling out of his eyes. Standing up with the help of the owner, Draco managed out a weak "thank you," before gathering up his cloak, and made his way out of the pub.

-xXx-

Miles and miles away, Draco apparated to the outskirts of a small muggle village that still showed signs of the new year celebration the night before. Paying no mind to the passersby, he made his way to the local church, situated in the center of the town. Bypassing the church doors, Draco walked around towards the cemetery behind the church.

Moving through the headstones, Draco came upon the one headstone he sought, which was adorned with several bouquets.

'_So they've already been here, I see.'_

As he knelt down in front of the marker, Draco drew from an inside pocket his wand. Wanting the pain to end, he cast the one spell that would guarantee that, as his world suddenly fell into darkness.

-xXx-

_Hermione Jean Malfoy_

_September 19, 1979 - December 31, 2002_

_Loving daughter, friend, wife and mother_

_Draco Lucius Malfoy_

_June 5, 1980 - January 1, 2008_

_Devoted husband, father and brother at heart_

_Eli Jefferson Malfoy_

_2002_

_Dearest son who never saw life_

_May their spirits find peace._


End file.
